I don’t know what a caucus is, but it sounds dirty. Let’s break the word down, cauc-us, there are variations of the spelling of those two syllables that form a very filthy scenario that might bring forth biblical verses of Sodom and Gomorrah. There is no need for Stephen Colbert to take part in these silly debacles of name calling termed as strategy by strategists who strategically strategize a formulated plan of finger pointing without offering up any real solutions. No, Stephen Colbert need not sully his hands with such blatant mediocrity for he stands tall amidst these creatures of the caucus.
What if we the people were to vote Stephen Colbert for President? Would the universe implode in on itself as the pure awesomeness became too unstable, thereby creating a black hole that would warp time and space into a coagulated ball of anti matter that would wake the Gods from their slumber? The answer is, of course, a resounding ‘yes!’ What if every United States Citizen, or at least a majority, were to use the write in vote to plead the resounding cries of Stephen Colbert for President? Could we be responsible for the revolution that will carry our country forward on the strong foundation of the Colbert Nation backs that carry the muscular fortitude necessary for such a task? Will this article give any answers or only a series of questions?
Of course he would win! What kind of question is that? His popularity in all demographics far exceeds that of all presidential nominees combined, according to the statistics I just found in my head. By using the same standards as twenty four hour news channels the most recent polls show that Stephen Colbert has a 100% approval rating according to all my friends. We want a nominee whose sex scandal is actually sexy instead of just creepy and gross. We the Colbert Nation submit our own candidate with Stephen Colbert for president. Hell, at this point what do we really have to lose?
Many people are unaware of the write in vote or they have only heard about it but have never tried it. Considering the options for president and the current economy it’s high time we make our vote actually mean something and use the write in vote to place Stephen Colbert for President. To do a write in vote you need to take a pen or pencil with you just in case. Although the booths are supposed to have a pencil, it pays to be sure when deciding the future of our great nation. When voting for president there should be the option to choose ‘other’. Pick this option and then write in your vote on the line next to it. Make sure to print legibly and clearly to make your vote count. If you have questions you can always ask an assistant there and they will be glad to help you. Different areas may use different types of voting machines so try to ask some questions about the write in vote before you ever go into the booth. If you are inside the booth and have a question, then do not open the curtain. Just stick your head through the curtain and ask someone to assist you since technically you are considered to be finished voting when the curtain opens.